How do life shape up? Our hands? Not physically though. Then how?
It's our decisions. The decisions we make with out conditions and situations that we have to deal with. I couldn't escape my faith so even I had to deal with it. Sometimes even alone.
Throughout my life I have been a man who has learnt from his mistakes. Always striving towards being the perfect man. For me, for everyone who felt awkward talking to a person who lacks the appropriate social skills.
Very early in my life I had made a valuable mistake. As far as I remember, it dates back to class 3.
I being a kid used to be greatly fond of video games. I didn't have one for myself like my neighbourhood kids did, (and I used to feel my parents don't love me like their parent, but more on this later) which made it a burning desire for me to play it as of my will.
Those days we used to have these video games parlour. Everyday returning from school I used to stand there watching others play. It was fun to watch but more to play. But there was a problem. I didn't have money to play and also playing in those parlours was strictly prohibited in my house.
You know what I did? I stole money from my house. From under the bed. I remember, it was a 2 rupee coin which would have fetched me 15 minutes of playtime. But it was the most my guts to go for. And 5 rupees were out of question.
So I stole the money, played for 15 minutes with a guilt settling worth of 1000 rupees in my heart. I felt guilty but was at the same time excited of doing something that I had never done before. In excitement I told it to the child of one of our neighbours. He was of my age (he still is and we are brothers you know, will write a separate one on this later).
So I told him all that I did and what can you expect from a class 3 boy to do in return? Well he turned out to be more intelligent than me. He “blackmailed” me. He told he will tell everything to my mom if I won't steal more money and go to play with him. I knew it was wrong but when fear looms over you, you don't do much but comply to its demands. I did the same.
I stole. First 5, then 10, then 50 and then 100. It was all going up in progression. What could a class 3 boy knows but to hide from fear. I knew guilt. I was trapped in a swamp but I knew the way out. So I went for it.
One night under tremendous pressure of blackmailing, while in bed with mom, I told her. I had stolen these amount of money and was very afraid to tell her all. I confessed everything in the fear of how she will react, but with hope of a positive outcome. She just said, “none else, not even your sisters have ever done anything like this”. She was disappointed but she didn't scold me instead she slowly ruffled my hair to sleep while I curled into her bullet- proof protection where I felt nothing in this whole world can touch me.
The next while playing cricket on the roof. He told me in signs that he will tell my mom. And at that time a unforeseen confidence rushed through me. And I told him, “do it”. I felt strong and revitalised.
Eventually he didn't do it though.
From this event I learnt a very useful lesson in my life that instilled itself deep into my heart.
“if no one else is there, there are you parent, always with open arms to hold you through, being your strength. Just be for them always with honesty and truth”.
So, for all this I lied my mother, instead of asking her for money in honesty I took the shortcut to play, but eventually I learnt , I can never hide the truth.
“Lie is not the absolute antonym of truth. Lie can't destroy truth. It can only hide it, but not change. Even under thousand of lies truth lives and beats with all vigour. You just have to dig it out for yourself”.
There is no shortcut to success, but there is a lie for every shortcut. How much the problem may difficult be, answer is the truth. The shortcut is to evade it with a lie. Yet at the end, truth prevails.
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